MODERN INTELLECTUALS

Dan

Dan Quayle

I stand by all the misstatements Dan Quayle, then vice-presidential hopeful, defending his verbal gaffes..

While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife. -- Clueless Iraqi radio announcer, Baghdad Betty, trying to demoralize our Gulf War troops..

Capital punishment is our societies recognition of the sanctity of human life. -- Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah..

Honest businessmen should be protected from the unscrupulous consumer. -- Lester Maddox, then governer of Georgia, on why his state should not create a consumer protection agency.

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C..

Who ever heard of Casablanca? I don't want to star opposite some unknown Swedish broad. -- George Raft, on the role of Rick in Casablanca..

I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue. -- Richard Nixon, discussing Watergate in 1978.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. Jackie Mason.

Bite the wax tadpole. -- Coca-Cola name as originally translated into Chinese (later changed to "May the mouth rejoice")..

Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. -- Ad slogan "Pepsi comes alive" as initially translated into Chinese..

If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war. -- Senior Pentagon official, explaining why the U.S. military censored footage showing Iraqi soldiers sliced in two by U.S. helicopter fire..

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-- -- Last words of Union commander General John Sedgwick, spoken as he was watching enemy troops at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House..

Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway. -- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on Chlordane..

I have no weakness for shoes. I wear very simple shoes which are pump shoes. It is not one of my weaknesses. -- Imelda Marcos, owner of 3,400 pairs of shoes..

Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind. -- General William Westmoreland on why the media should be controlled in wartime..

Facts are stupid things. -- Ronald Reagan.

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