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Back to Bataan Spam

[PICTURE] 1/2 cup Crisco
1 Onion - sliced
1 large bell pepper - sliced
1 large can Spam luncheon meat - chopped into bite-sized cubes
4 tablespoons applesauce
Salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon sugar
1 16 ounce can whole potatoes
Dash of oregano

Put Crisco in a large skillet, add onion and bell pepper, and cook until partly done. Add the rest of the ingredients. Cover and cook on medium heat for 18 minutes. Serves 4 to 6.

[Spam Haiku]

Flaming Cabbage Head Weenies in PuPu Sauce

Pupu Sauce:
1/2 cup sour cream
2 Tb yellow mustard
1 Tb chili sauce
1 Tb brown sugar
1/2 Tb Worchester sauce
1 Tb wine vinegar
1 sm. onion minced fine
1 tp lemon juice
Chili powder to taste
Salt to taste
Combine all ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat; let stand at least one hour before serving.

Flaming Cabbage Head Weenies:
1 Lg head cabbage, red or green
1 can Sterno
25 to 30 cocktail weenies
Rinse cabbage and trim base so it stands evenly. Form decorative petals by curling a few leaves down from top. Cut a space in top center of head deep enough to hold Sterno inside, with rim of can even with cabbage. Light Sterno. Stick weenies into flaming cabbage on toothpicks. Set warm Pupu sauce nearby for dipping. Serves 4 to 6.

Undescended Twinkies

2 3-ounce packages of orange Jell-O
1 cup boiling water
1/2 cup pineapple juice
1 quart vanilla ice cream, softened
7 ounces 7-Up
8 Twinkies(TM) 		[PICTURE]

Dissolve Jell-O in boiling water. Add pineapple juice, ice cream, and 7-Up. Mix thoroughly(in a blender if necessary to dissolve ice cream), and pour into a deep pan, approximately 9 inches square. Chill until mixture begins to set. Lay Twinkies flat side down in two rows of four, across the top of chilled gelatin. If the gelatin is properly chilled, it will resist the Twinkies. You will push them in; they will slowly rise. It is a tense moment, like the scene in Psycho when Tony Perkins tries to sink Janet Leigh's car. But remember- you don't want them buried. Just semidescended in the lush, peach colored ooze. Chill until fully set. Serves 4 to 6


Thanks to:
Square Meals

A Cookbook by Jane and Michael Stern

Published by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc.

Spam Haiku

Formless spawn of pork
Leers with gelatinous gaze
Taunting my lean soul

A huge amoeba
Coated in Dippety Do
In a can for you

A spam loaf quivers
Salivary glands juice up
Anticipation

Millions starve in Chad
U.S. sends massive SPAM aid
Millions starve in Chad

Ate three cans of Spam,
But there's still room for Jell-O
I love this country

TWINKIE TORTURE
 THE COMPLETE SPAM

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