Brian’s Fabulous Costco Pasta and Meatballs Recipe

for Oceanographers Without Enough Time^*

Dedicated to L. Thompson on the occasion of her birthday.

Serves 2.5 people in two (2) steps:

Step 1:
Get thee to Costco and get:

1) The Costco Big Bag-o-Italian Style Beef Meatballs (Frozen).

2) The Costco Big Bag-o-Penne Zita Rigate Pasta.

3) The Costco Big Jar-o-Basil.

4) The Costco Big Jar-o-Black Pepper.

5) The Costco Big Jug-o-Olive Oil (get two...).

6) One (1) Case of Canned V-8 Juice (soda cans).

7) The Costco Big Bag-o-Small Onions.

8) The Costco Big Chunk-o-Parmigiano Reggiano Cheese.

9) More Red Wine than you will think you‘d ever need.

Step 2-A:

Put the water for the pasta on to boil, then start Step 2B. When the water is boiling, add in the penne pasta and cook until “al dente“. Place cooked pasta in bowls, cover with meatballs and sauce, add fresh ground parmesan cheese. Done.

Step 2-B:
In a sauce pan place 2-25 tablespoons of olive oil. (You can’t have too much olive oil.) At moderate-high heat, fry 2 small chopped onions until brown or clear. A few minutes before the onions are done add in 15 frozen meatballs. When the onions are clear, but not burned, add 1/2 cup of madeira, red wine or port to deglaze the pan. After a minute or so when the wine has begun to simmer and the pan is deglazed, add 1.5 cans of V-8 juice*, basil, and pepper to taste. Stir, bring to a simmer, and lower heat to low-moderate. Partly cover, and let the sauce thicken until the pasta is done. Stir occasionally. See Step 2A.

Serve with a tomato/mozzarella/basil/vinagrette salad, fresh bread, and red wine.